Before we had sex

Hide my name please. I'm HIV positive. Been for the past 2 years. So I met this guy
and I like him very much. I don't want to lose him. So we were
at his place and we had sex. Before we had sex he asked if I'm
not sick and I said no. He asked if I'm on a pill and I said yes. He
used a condom.
In the middle if the night I wok him up with a blowjob and I put his penis inside me without a condom and I was on top.
I feel if he happens to get sick then we will be together forever.
We will test together and if he is also sick then we'll be there
for each other.
I know what I did was wrong, but I don't want to lose him.



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